


Into the Great Beyond

by RyoSen



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-19
Updated: 2014-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-13 00:54:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1206823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyoSen/pseuds/RyoSen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary:  Bubbleficathon (LiveJournal) story written for Sarah, who requested Josh, Donna, and a rubber ducky.  Season 4ish.</p>
<p>Originally Posted:  28 Nov 2004.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Into the Great Beyond

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: These characters belong to Aaron Sorkin. No, really. John Wells hasn't laid a melodramatic little hand on them. ::nods::
> 
> Thanks: To Jo, Em, Philateley, and Marguerite.

Josh slung his backpack over his shoulder and headed out, making it five whole steps before Donna called after him. He slowed almost imperceptibly as she caught up, one pale hand outstretched. "Don't forget the file on 553, Congresswoman Martinez is sending a staffer to sit in on Ways and Means, I'm going to need your wallet to order my present, and there's a cab waiting at the northwest entrance."

Josh dug his wallet out and lobbed it to Donna, who caught it with one hand and held a blue folder out with the other. Years of practice made the exchange flawless, and Josh swiped the folder, then straightened his suit jacket as Donna flashed a grin and peeled off, heading back to her desk.

Then he stopped in his tracks. "Wait. What?"

Already half the width of the bullpen away, Donna frowned over her shoulder at him. "What what?"

Josh rewound the conversation -- yup. Present. "What present?" He turned to face her fully, leaning against the filing cabinet beside the door.

Donna stopped near her desk, one hand on the edge of the glass partition. From the look on her face, Josh knew he'd messed up. Of course, he had no idea _how_ he'd managed to make her frown like that, but he was far too familiar with that particular expression to misinterpret it.

"Did I hand you your week-ahead this morning?" she demanded.

Josh thought she may have handed him something, anyway, because he vividly remembered being unable to juggle everything, and Donna's laughter when he spilled coffee on his tie. Reflexively, he glanced down to make sure the stain wasn't noticeable. "Yes," he answered.

"Did you read it?" Donna pressed, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

"I gave it a cursory glance, yes," Josh answered. And he had, too. He was pretty sure the paper was white, and he'd swear before a jury that there were no interesting graphs or charts. _That_ he would've remembered.

"You did not," Donna decided, crossing her arms. Not a good sign, especially considering his meeting was scheduled to begin in precisely 14 minutes. On the Hill. And there was a cab with its engine and its meter running just outside the door.

"If I promise to read it later, can I go?" Josh tried, flashing that boyish grin that never seemed to work on his mother or CJ, but sometimes bought him some good will with Donna. "And I need my wallet back."

Donna clutched his wallet tighter. "Why?"

Apparently the grin wasn't going to work today. "Cab," he answered, hooking his thumb in the direction of the Northwest Lobby. "As much as I enjoy a brisk stroll, you're the one who keeps telling me I need to try to be on time every once in a while, and cab drivers tend not to like it when you reach your destination and you can't pay them."

"Fine," Donna said, fumbling with his overstuffed wallet. "But I'm keeping your credit card."

Exasperated, Josh strode over to her and snagged the plastic out of her hand. "Would you give me that?" Shaking his head, he tucked it back into its slot, ignoring her pout. "What is this present for, anyway?"

Donna shifted, her hands landing on her hips. "Don't you trust me?"

In the back of Josh's mind, he could perfectly hear the robotic warning, _Danger, Will Robinson!_ He backpedaled swiftly. "Of course."

"Didn't you put me in charge of buying gifts for your friends and family?"

"Yes, I did," Josh agreed. "But I generally like to have at least a passing idea of why I'm buying said gifts."

Donna lifted her chin and turned away. "Never mind."

Oh, shit. "Donna--"

"You're going to be late," she interrupted. "And I don't have Sun-Ripened Raspberry and Vanilla Dreams Bath Salts to look forward to, so don't push me."

"Sun-Ripened Vanilla what?" Josh echoed, caught between utter confusion and desperate repression of the mental images her words evoked.

"Forget it, Josh. Go."

He went, somewhat reluctantly, because she actually sounded hurt underneath the playful bluster. A present, Josh wondered, sliding into the backseat of the cab. Why would he owe her a present? It wasn't February and it wasn't April, so it couldn't be either of their anniversaries--

"Oh, shit," Josh muttered. His cabdriver gave him an odd look. "No," Josh said with a forced smile. "It's just -- There's a thing I forgot. I think."

Digging his cellphone out of his backpack, Josh dialed quickly. "Carol, it's Josh. Is she in? Thanks."

Seconds later, CJ demanded, "Don't tell me bad news about 553, Josh, or so help me God--"

"No, no," Josh interrupted. "It's not that."

"Oh," CJ answered, sounding oddly deflated. "Good, then. Because walking that back in the pressroom would be quite a performance."

"But one that you are, no doubt, more than capable of," Josh answered.

With a derisive snort, CJ asked, "What do you need, Josh?"

Josh shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Listen, this is kind of a strange question."

"Out with it."

"You wouldn't happen to know when Donna's birthday is, would you?"

There was a brief moment of silence before CJ burst out laughing. Josh could've sworn she muttered something uncomplimentary under her breath before she answered aloud, "Yeah, Carol put it on my calendar this week." Josh could hear the rustling of papers and pictured CJ unerringly pulling her calendar from a middle of a pile of folders. "Didn't Donna put it on yours?" CJ asked.

"She may have," Josh prevaricated.

"But you didn't bother to read your schedule because you just expect her to follow you around, carrying your folders and squawking like a living, breathing alarm clock," CJ guessed.

Smirking, Josh repeated, "A living, breathing alarm clock?"

"You know what I mean," CJ shot back, and from her tone, Josh could perfectly picture the disgruntled, dismissive wave of her hand that accompanied her words. "You owe that woman so much."

She was right, but Josh wasn't particularly comfortable with that subject. Especially considering it was a subject that seemed to come up more and more frequently as of late. Well, maybe not the subject of how much he owed Donna, precisely. More like all the ways he'd like to pay Donna back. "What should I get her?" Josh asked, and if his voice was a little high-pitched when he said it, well, he could always blame the cabbie's driving.

"A car?" CJ suggested acerbically.

"As much as I'd love to give her half my yearly salary--"

"Oh, please, Josh," CJ scoffed. "Do you know how little the assistants make?"

"I've seen Donna's apartment, yeah," Josh answered.

There was an awkward moment of silence before CJ said, "Please don't explain that. Listen, as much as I would love the play the part of your personal shopper, I have actual, you know, work to do."

"One more thing," Josh interjected quickly. "Have you ever heard of Raspberry Sunny Vanilla Bath Something-or-other?"

CJ's rich laughter rang down the line. "Try Bath & Body Works," she suggested, "or maybe a department store, Josh. Good luck."

"Yeah, thanks." Josh shut the phone, paid his fare, and slid out of the cab.

Thirty-eight minutes later, Josh sauntered out of the Rayburn Building and hailed a cab, dialing his cellphone as he slid into the backseat. "Pentagon City, please."

The line connected. "Josh Lyman," Donna answered.

"Got it in one," Josh answered with a grin.

"How'd it go?" Donna asked, her tone warm. Apparently she'd forgiven him already for being such a yutz. Maybe he _should_ buy her a car for putting up with him.

"We've got this one," Josh answered. "Tell CJ not to back off 553."

"Sure," Donna agreed. "Do you want me to order lunch?"

"Nah. I'll grab something on my way back. I've got a couple errands to run."

"You do?" She sounded dubious.

"Yes."

"No, you don't," Donna told him. "Your dry cleaning won't be ready until tomorrow, your car is all up to date -- not to mention that it's in the lot here -- and you never need groceries."

"Hey, I can cook," Josh answered defensively. Because he could. Sort of.

"The eternal delusion," Donna retorted, her tone warm and amused.

Josh really loved that particular tone of voice, and he settled into the conversation, content to bicker about his cooking skills all the way across the river if she'd indulge him. "I can cook. You've had my mother's cookies."

"Yes," Donna agreed. "And I've never so much as insinuated that your _mother_ can't cook."

"I'm gonna cook something for you some day."

Donna snorted. "Sure. I'll just mark that down on your calendar."

Josh didn't let himself think before he answered, "Yeah, put it down for January 30, 2006." And he was only half-kidding.

It took a moment for Donna to respond, and when she did, she said only, "Why the 30th?"

"I plan to sleep for a solid week," Josh answered. "And then I'll need to unearth my kitchen."

He could tell she was smiling when she said, "It's a date."

Something inside of him gave a big lurch, but Josh steadfastly ignored it. He also ignored an imaginary voice that sounded suspiciously like CJ yelping about scandals, and a positively Tobyesque growl raining curses upon his good name and reputed intellect. Josh figured now would be a good time to end the conversation. Before he did something to ruin Donna's good mood. "So I'll be back in an hour or so. Call me if anything comes up."

Snapping his phone closed, Josh dropped it back into his backpack and stared absently out the window as the cab crossed the river. A few minutes later, he sat upright and said, "Right here, please. Yeah." Josh dug money out of his wallet as the cab driver pulled into the parking lot. "Great. Thanks."

Josh emerged from the back seat of the cab and slung his backpack over his shoulder as he stood staring up at the store before him. Seemed kind of big for a store selling girly bath salts and whatnot, but it said right there in the name -- Bed, Bath and Beyond. Yeah, he reassured himself, that's definitely what CJ had suggested.

And Josh had to admit he was a little intrigued by the idea of whatever was beyond a bath.

With a smug grin, Josh sauntered to the door and entered. He took two steps into the large, brightly lit store and stopped. "Wait," he muttered, casting wide-eyed glances all around. To his left, a wall of bedding stared suggestively down at him, all sumptuous colors and inviting fabrics. To his right, an incongruous assortment of gardening accoutrements waited in ordered rows.

It didn't look anything like he'd expected a girly bubblebath store to look like.

Josh was much more interested in the bedding. He stepped cautiously closer, admiring the slate blue set that seemed oddly familiar. Belatedly, he realized Donna had a sweater that exact color. It was one of Josh's favorite sweaters, in fact. It looked damn good on her, and it wasn't just the way it clung to her curves; the color did something to her skin or her eyes or her hair or something.

He tilted his head and tried to picture what those blue sheets would look like--

"Oh, shit," he yelped, wrenching his gaze from the bedding. Averting his gaze didn't help with the mental image, though. Not that he was trying all that hard to erase the thought of Donna, all that blonde hair shimmering across the pillow--

No, no, no.

Inappropriate to think of his assistant that way.

Josh gave himself an actual shake, to the consternation of a nearby sales clerk. She stopped a few feet away from him and asked, "Can I help you find anything?"

"Yes!" Josh answered, in what CJ referred to as his outside voice. Carefully modulating his tone, Josh tried again, struggling to remember the name Donna had mentioned. "Raspberry Swirl Vanilla, I don't know, bubblebath?"

"Our gift sets are this way," the clerk explained, leading the way past the strange garden section.

Josh stopped short, staring in slackjawed horror at shelf after shelf of pastel colored bottles with flowers and hearts and painfully ornate script. This was more like what he'd expected. He repressed a shudder. From what he could read, the bottles held bubblebath and bath beads and bath salts and something with the vaguely disturbing description of "fizzing bath salts."

The sales clerk must have caught his skeptical look. She tapped a fingernail against a pale lavender bottle and said, "The fizzing is great. Very relaxing."

Not thinking about Donna relaxing in the tub. Not thinking about Donna in the tub, naked and moist and--

"Yeah," Josh said, and his voice definitely sounded funny. He cleared his throat and tried again. "She said something about Raspberry and Vanilla and... possibly the sun?" He shrugged. "I can't remember the rest."

The clerk took pity on him, guiding him to the bubblebath. Crossing her arms, she scanned the labels before reaching for a bottle in a very girly shade of pink. "Sun-Ripened Raspberry and Vanilla Dreams Bubblebath?"

Josh grabbed the bottle with a jaunty shrug. "Could be." Close enough, anyway.

Amused, the clerk grinned and said, "It's the thought that counts. I'm sure your girlfriend will appreciate the effort. Not many guys would come in here for bubblebath."

Josh shook his head rather desperately. "Oh, no, no, no. She's not my girlfriend." And he really wasn't going to let himself picture her relaxing in a tub, very barely covered by bubbles from the bubblebath he'd given her.

"Oh." The sales clerk flushed, looking terribly embarrassed. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine," Josh lied, his voice squeaking a little. "This is just a gift for my assistant."

The clerk blinked. "Oh."

"It's her birthday," Josh explained.

For some reason, the clerk seemed skeptical, raising her eyebrows at him as she nodded in reply.

"This is just for stress relief," Josh elaborated. "She does a lot for me and I don't really show her my appreciation enough."

"Uh-huh."

"You know," Josh continued, wanting desperately to make the doubting sales clerk understand, "she takes care of all the little details, and she complains that I never listen to her, and that I take her for granted." Josh stopped short, frowning. It didn't really sound like he was describing an assistant.

"Sure," the sales clerk said, nodding indulgently. "Whatever you say."

"No," Josh protested a little too loudly. "It's not like that. Really."

"Okay," the clerk said, backing away. "If you need any more help..." With that, she scooted around the corner and disappeared.

"Thanks." Josh frowned down at the bottle in his hand, wondering whether Sun-Ripened Raspberry and Vanilla Dreams Bubblebath was an appropriate gift. Josh dug his cellphone out and dialed. "It's Josh. Thanks." He studied the label impatiently as he waited for-- "Toby, what did you get Ginger for her birthday?"

Silence.

"Toby?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Toby demanded, sounding surly.

Not that that was unusual. "What did you get Ginger?" Josh repeated, turning the bottle over to read the back. The directions included, _Light some scented candles and turn off the lights_ , and Josh's vivid imagination short-circuited over the mental image that particular instruction produced.

"For her birthday," Toby said.

Blinking, Josh clambered back into the conversation. "Yes."

"Why do you _care_?" Toby demanded irritably.

"I just do," Josh evaded. "C'mon."

"Josh," Toby asked, in that scary, soft voice of his that meant he was about two seconds away from shouting, "where are you right now?"

"Uh..." Josh honestly couldn't remember the name of the place, and the Sun-Ripened Raspberry and Vanilla Dreams Bubblebath was no help, since it was manufactured by a company called, redundantly, Sensuous Sensations, which would just drive Toby batty if Josh read it aloud.

"It's Donna's birthday," Toby sighed.

"Tomorrow, yes."

"And you're contemplating buying her something wildly inappropriate," Toby surmised. "Like a car."

"Okay, seriously," Josh interrupted. "What's with you and CJ suggesting that I buy Donna a car?" Because he was a little worried about bubblebath, never mind a gift he'd be paying off for four years. Also probably the ethics rules would prohibit Donna from being able to accept a car. But all in all, it wasn't the worst idea Josh had ever heard.

"I'm not suggesting that you buy your assistant a car, Josh," Toby answered.

"Yes, but your first instinct was--"

"Josh," Toby barked. "Focus."

"I'm buying her a gift," Josh explained in an injured tone. "A thoughtful gift."

"Oh, God."

"Toby--"

"What is it?" Toby growled.

Josh was seriously reconsidering the wisdom of making this particular phone call. "Something Donna told me she wanted."

"So help me God, if this phone call is transcribed in the _Washington Times_ \--"

"Bubblebath." Josh waited, wincing, for a reaction. When none was forthcoming, Josh frowned. "Toby?"

"Bubblebath," Toby said flatly.

"Yes."

"You're buying your young, blonde, attractive assistant bubblebath for her birthday?"

It didn't sound like a particularly good idea when phrased that way, but Josh stuck to his guns. "Yes."

"And you think that might be inappropriate?" Toby asked, incredulous.

"It's for stress relief," Josh answered defensively. "Maybe you could use some."

"Josh," Toby thundered, "get your ass in a cab--"

"Listen, Toby, thanks for the help, but I think I've got it under control," Josh interrupted hurriedly.

"Josh--"

"Bye." Josh snapped his phone shut and turned it off, knowing it would be a matter of seconds before Toby called back to harangue him some more.

He stood in the aisle, indecisive. He really wanted to buy Donna the bubblebath. For many reasons, not the least of which was the fact that she'd been about to buy it herself, so he knew it was something she desired.

Desired.

Focus, dammit, Josh admonished himself. He unscrewed the cap and brought the bottle up to his face, inhaling deeply. It actually wasn't bad, not at all artificial. Though Josh was pretty sure he wouldn't get a damn thing done at the office if Donna strolled in one morning smelling like the bubblebath he'd given her.

On the other hand, if Donna strolled in one morning smelling like the bubblebath he'd given her, maybe Josh could take it as some kind of sign...

No. No, no, no.

Those damn signs were precisely the reason he couldn't possibly buy his assistant bubblebath for her birthday. It might imply something that Josh had no intention of implying, vivid mental images of Donna in a bathtub notwithstanding.

Glancing around rather desperately, Josh's gaze fell on the perfect accompaniment to the bubblebath, the addition that would remove any implications or signs and make it perfectly safe for Josh to give his assistant Sun-Ripened Raspberry and Vanilla Dreams Bubblebath.

With a grin, Josh grabbed the second item and headed for the checkout, whistling a jaunty little tune under his breath. He called for a cab while he waited in line, then breezed outside as the taxi pulled to the curb. Twenty-five minutes later, Josh sauntered into the Northwest Lobby, Donna's gift tucked carefully into his backpack.

As always, Donna noticed him as soon as he walked into the bullpen, and she popped out of her chair to meet him at the doorway to his office. "Toby wants you as soon as you set foot in the office, and CJ called to check on you, too, but neither one of them would say why." Donna raised her eyebrows. "Anything you want to tell me?"

Josh merely grinned at her. "Nope." He stepped into his office and dumped his backpack onto his desk, then turned back to his assistant. "Actually, can you bring Toby the originals on 553? He'll need to write something on it, and I'm not sure he's got the current version."

Donna looked suspicious, but she nodded. "Anything else?"

"Nope." Josh tried his best to look innocent as she studied him. From the dubious look on her face, he failed miserably.

"Fine," Donna said, turning on one heel and disappearing into the bullpen.

Josh grabbed his phone and dialed three digits. "As soon as she walks past, can you bring it in?" he asked. Then he grinned. "Thanks."

Digging through his backpack, Josh unearthed the Bed, Bath and Beyond bag and unwrapped Donna's gifts. He hadn't thought to stop and buy her a card, but he figured she knew him well enough not to expect one.

As Josh stepped into the bullpen, Emily, the second Capitol Police officer on duty at the entrance, stopped in the doorway and held out a cup. Josh veered away from Donna's desk and toward Emily. "Thanks."

Emily lifted a suspicious eyebrow. "I still don't understand why you had to hide coffee from your assistant."

"It's for Donna," Josh explained, indicating the items in his arms with the tilt of his head. "It's her birthday."

Emily's eyebrows climbed higher. "Bubblebath?"

"No, it's fine," Josh answered defensively, juggling the gifts so she could see the other present. "See?"

Josh was really pretty sure he'd never seen Emily smile quite so widely before. She was usually reserved, but staring at Donna's gifts, she looked like she was desperately struggling not to laugh. "I see," Emily answered. She handed him the coffee cup and gestured back to the lobby. "I should get back."

"Sure," Josh agreed. "Thanks again."

He moved quickly to Donna's desk, expecting to have to clear a space for her gifts. Unlike him, however, Donna kept things in neat, orderly piles, leaving a large, empty workspace beside her keyboard. Muttering about neat freaks, Josh carefully arranged Donna's presents, then stepped back to admire his handiwork.

"Excellent," he decided, looking up as he heard the familiar clatter of heels on marble. Josh ducked back into his office just before Donna cleared the door into the bullpen. Scooting behind his desk, Josh waited for some sort of reaction.

Instead of heading for her desk, Donna stopped in Josh's doorway. "Toby said thanks and get your ass over there," she reported, amused. She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe. "Is this about 553?"

"Nope," Josh answered, rising from his seat and tossing the folder he'd been pretending to peruse onto the precarious pile on his desk. "It's nothing."

Donna took the hint, shrugging off her curiosity and heading for her desk. As Josh reached the doorway to the bullpen, Donna stopped short and stared at the items awaiting her. Josh realized he was smiling as he watched her approach her desk slowly, almost as if she were afraid the vision would disappear if she made any sudden moves.

Donna's long, delicate fingers reached out and skimmed across the top of the caramel latté, then tapped against the bottle of Sun-Ripened Raspberry and Vanilla Dreams Bubblebath. She gave a watery chuckle and turned, holding up a bright yellow molded plastic rubber ducky. "Josh."

He feigned insult. "You're naming it Josh?"

Laughing, she stepped closer, her eyes sparkling with tears. "You shouldn't have," she murmured, hugging him quickly and fiercely. She pulled back and glanced down at the rubber ducky in her hand. She waggled it in the air. "You really shouldn't have," she repeated, still smiling.

"I know," Josh agreed, stepping back before he did something rash. He waited until she looked up at him. "Happy birthday, Donna," he said. Before she could answer, he turned and headed for the Northwest Lobby, leaving his assistant with coffee, bubblebath, and a rubber ducky named Josh.

THE END

11.28.04


End file.
